WANTED: DEAD OR DISINTEGRATED: For crimes innumerable, we sentence SCUMMY S. SCUMMERTON of the ship-meteor “Planet Scumm” to death, by any means. Their numerous breaches of galactic law include:
• Theft and Destruction of Memory-Encoded Historical Documents, and the Willful Impartation of Grievous Harm to the Nervous Systems of Certain Living Historians
• Unlicensed Production and Sale of Robotic Honey and Related Products, Including (But Not Limited To) Robot-Wax Candles and Robot-Wax Lip Balms
• Impersonation of a Religious Figure and Unsafe Handling of Restricted Sacramental Foodstuffs
• Shapeshifting Without Concern for Public Welfare, and Outside the Bounds of Good Taste
• Egregious Use of Puns, Puzzles, Riddles, Stumpers and Brain-Teasers as an Inducement for Unpaid Labor
• Walking of a Dog Without a Collar
Physical description: A slimy green [REDACTED] with a [REDACTED] sense of humor, and a huge [REDACTED]. Repeat—a HUGE [REDACTED].
If you see an individual matching this description, DO NOT APPROACH THEM. Instead, calmly alert your nearest law enforcement professional or dashing bounty hunter.
Issue #8 features the stories:
• Bookends by Maya Dworsky-Rocha
• A Taste of the Sweet Stuff by Harris Coverley
• Prodigal by Steve DuBois
• Shapeshifters by Maureen Bowden
• Lazarus by Anna Catalano
• Good Boy by Luke Foster
• Original art by Jordan Alarcon and Sam Rheaume
